Fear, it’s an extremely powerful motivator. A primal instinct that has kept us alive as a species since the beginning. We’ve learned to distance ourselves from predators, tread carefully near cliffs, avoid poisonous reptiles, and many others. Life centered around survival and our ancestors we’re adept at it.
But, does fear help us today in modern society?
Sure, it helps us avoid dangerous situations, but for the most part, isn’t of much help. Think of all the times you’ve felt fear – going to a job interview, moving to a new city, going on a date, asking for a raise, meeting new people, the list is almost endless!
What this essentially boils down to is a fear of change and uncertainty. We find comfort in routine and preconceived certainty. Unfortunately, living your life in this way leads to a very confined and limiting existence. One that may lead to an unfulfilled life and feelings of regret. With that said, you can actually start using fear to your advantage. As an indicator that gives you the choice to either avoid or embrace a given situation.
Using Fear to Your Advantage
Fear originated as a sense of imminent danger, an indication to flee. Well, how does this help us in a job interview, for instance? Imagine yourself feeling anxious at a job interview, standing up, and bolting out the door. I know that sounds ridiculous, but your brain is trying to save you from what it considers to be a dangerous/uncertain situation. We push through in these instances because we know it’s good for us. So, in order to use this fear to your advantage, the first thing you need to do is accept it for what it is.
Use Fear as an Indicator
We all feel anxious/fearful at one time or another. The key is to recognize it as an indication for opportunity. Don’t let your mind take control of your actions. Acknowledge the presence of anxiety/fear and make a choice based on logical reasoning.
This fear indicator is a good sign that you have an opportunity to grow beyond your current state. To push your boundaries and see what’s possible. Practicing this mindset allows you to acknowledge fear, but stay in control of your situation.
Embrace Fear as Growth
Living life safely within familiarity may be comforting, but will suffer in areas of growth. Think of all the common, everyday fears many people have: public speaking, job interviews, meeting new people, starting a business, and more. These situations may induce a heightened level of anxiety, but must be overcome in order to grow.
In these fearful situations, is a negative outcome really all that bad? What’s the worst that could happen, you don’t get the job or you feel judged over your presentation skills? You may even feel kind of like an idiot, but does that really cause you any harm? Sure it might sting a little, but you get over it and move on. So, from now on I want you to remember this…
Fear = Go
As in go, face your fear. Eventually, facing your fears will become habitual and snowball into greater and more life changing experiences. You may even begin to enjoy the thrill of facing your fears and seek out ways to break down your barriers.
View Failure & Success as Education
I guarantee if you keep at it, you will both fail and succeed when facing your fears. I hate to say it, but life isn’t fair, you don’t always get what you want, and there are no participation trophies for trying. You will have ups and downs, no one is successful 100% of the time.
The idea is not to focus on the outcome, but on what you can take away from each situation. What is it you learned that can be applied next time? Maybe you said, “um” too many times in your speech, froze up over a question in a job interview, didn’t close the sale, or maybe even succeeded! These are all learning experiences that help you improve and prepare for the future. So, remember this…
Win or Lose – You Always Win.
Find Comfort With Fear
I’ll be the first to admit, facing your fears is not easy. I have my fair share of anxiety in certain situations, but have met others with near crippling levels of anxiety. Phone calls, grocery shopping, or busy nightlife can be very difficult for some people. The key is to become comfortable with fear and face it on an ongoing basis.
As difficult as it may be, facing your fear on a regular basis will result in something far greater than comfort alone, that’s confidence. You’ll gain familiarity and de-sensitize yourself, building a foundation of courage. This will not only help you in those particular situations, but in all areas of life. There is a great TEDx talk called 100 days without fear, which you may find inspirational.
Remember, be the master of fear, not a slave.
Facing Your Fear
Fear is nothing more than the boogie man. Something your mind makes up to protect you from perceived harm…except it’s not a real threat.
With that said, I challenge you to face your fears in all areas of life. Growth only occurs when you take action on your fears. Ask yourself, what you are afraid of and then go do it! Give that speech, approach that person, start a business, go back to school, whatever it is that you’re afraid of, face it head on. The discomfort you feel in the moment will be far less than the regret you feel later in life.
Don’t let fear control you, use fear to propel you forward. The more you do this, this more habitual it will become and the more growth you will experience.
What are your thoughts, are you currently facing any of your fears? Leave a comment below!
